Two under two... by Mellie

Two children under the age of two - that's just what we aimed for. Right!

Nathanael meeting his little sister for the first time

Gosh! I was sitting in my chair enjoying the sunny weather in Italy while on holiday with my Mum and the two little ones and got thinking (as you do, right?!)

That day hadn't really been the easiest so far. Actually thinking back there had probably been one moment each and every single day since being home after Aurelia's birth that I thought I couldn't manage this whole "Mummy-of-two" thing and also probably on 90% of the days as soon as the children were in bed I'll be like "ohh, this hasn't been too bad, has it?".

Cuddles 

After having had Nathanael it was clear as crystal that we wanted to try for another baby pretty soon. Not like soon as in the next 2 weeks but we aimed for an age difference of 18-24 months. So when I fell pregnant quite quickly (they are 19 months apart almost to the day) we were over the moon. I pictured myself with a newborn and a toddler and it all seemed so perfect. In my mind it was.
Don't get me wrong! It is perfect! I love our children to the moon and back!

But there have been struggles and days when I thought I might not be able to handle it. I could just sit down and cry in such moments. Thinking about it I actually think it's not just the kids that make me go all crazy but mostly the combination of a crying newborn wanting food or comfort, a screaming toddler wanting attention, a kitty cat wanting food and a big old dog wanting to go out for a pee. Yes, thinking about it the worst situations had been something to do with all for of them wanting something from me at the same time.

And I strongly believe that I'm not the only one with such thoughts and "problems". And I'm also 100% sure that I'm not the only Mum having to go through such situations. I just think that not a lot of Mums actually talk about it. It seems as on the outside every Mum wants to be perfect and wants perfectly behaved children and make it look like it's a train ride. I just know that it is not. And why not say it out loud.

Sometimes cuddles can get rough

And then there is the whole aspect of not pushing the first born aside and give all the attention to your newborn. It's so easily said... but can be hard at times. Not so much the "splitting the attention equally" but the "you're a big brother now".. I mean we really try to give Nathanael the feeling that he is a big brother now and he is allowed to do things when it comes to Aurelia. Aurelia isn't supposed to be this untouchable super special thing that he isn't allowed to touch and takes away all of our attention. No, we really try to incorporate him as much as we can when it comes to take care of Aurelia. He brings her her pacifier and rocks her moses basket. He holds her hand while I feed her. SUPER CUTE!!

Carrying one, holding on to the other

But - it can get rough sometimes. He is still a little boy not really knowing his strength and when he cuddles her or gives her kisses it might be a tad too hard. The rocking can get out of control and so on. AND the thing is that when we tell him not to rock so hard or caress so strongly he starts laughing and keeps on doing it. So on the one hand I don't wanna tell him off as he is allowed to touch her and interact with her but I don't want him to hurt her and MOSTLY think that is funny... For me this can be quite hard. But we'll manage!

Carrying one and the other wants to be carried as well.
Not just a Mummy problem...

I'm just a human being. Which also means I make mistakes and there are days where I can't handle things the same way I could on another day. Marcel likes to call me "Supermum" but I really don't feel like a Supermum. I just try to be the best Mum I can be to the best little humans in the whole wide world. At the same time I try to be the best Wife, Housewife, Daughter, Friend etc. that I can be.
And the most important thing is I wanna be the best ME I can be. Because even though I am a Wife and a Mother and a Daughter and a Friend and so on I'm still a WOMAN.

ME.

Thans for reading, xx.